Film and Picture Hot Sexy Girl: journal

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Healing through Yoga - restart

I'm bringing this back.... I posted it at the end of last August: Healing through Art & Yoga

I did introduce yoga back into my life, but not daily. With the holidays, treatments stopping and starting, it was just too much. I am bringing it back, though.... because I won't give up.

The great thing about Yoga is that it isn't competitive or about how your skill level... it isn't a "sport" at all.... it is a lifestyle. And starting over is welcomed in yoga, failure is welcomed in yoga. Yoga embodies more than most understand. Yes "yoga" as we know it, is a series of positions on a mat. Positions that many people insist they will never get into, so yoga is not for them.

However, Yoga is much more than that. In fact, to practice yoga, you don't even have to get into those positions. Those positions without yoga, are just acrobatics. Yoga is a mindset, it is a spiritual connection, it is a life, not a body posture.

So since my body will not allow me to do a physical yoga practice every day, I am going to do my best to practice some form of yoga every day. It is a lifestyle, however I will try to bring notice to a specific "practice" every day.

I may not journal about it here, but will try to update on it at least once a month.

I still do the collages.... I just don't post them often. See the sidebar for updates and links :)

You think you know about Lyme Disease... part 2

The last post inspired me to share some of the odd, and not so odd, confusing, funny, sometimes shocking things I've heard from people when I tell them I have Chronic Lyme Disease (Don't feel bad if you've ever said one of these.... I'm sure I did before I knew about Lyme):

"What is that?"

"Limes? Limes disease?"

"Oh! I had Lymes once! You'll get over it in a few days."

"It's the bulls-eye rash thing, right?"

"Where were you? We don't have that here..."

"My friend's brother's cousin's uncle had it." Then they launch into a long drawn out story that has nothing to do with Lyme...

"You should do peroxide IVs!"

"You should get tested for Lupus."

"You should get tested for MS."

"You should get tested for Fibro/CFS."

"You should try [insert pscyh med here]."

"When were you in Africa?"

"Isn't that a virus from Africa?"

"When were you overseas?"

"I didn't think that was in our country."

"At least it's not cancer!"

And this one takes the cake:

"I love Limes. Have you ever had Limeade? It is so much better than Lemonade! Too bad they aren't in season right now..."

You think you know about Lyme Disease....

You may think you know about Lyme Disease, maybe you learned something in school, saw something on the news, or read an article in the paper. "It's the bulls-eye rash thing, right?"

You may think it’s rare and hard to contract, that if you do get it all you have to do is go to your doctor and get a course of antibiotics and you’re cured. "We don't have ticks here, so it doesn't matter."

You may think it’s not that bad or not that big of a deal. After all, it’s just flu-like symptoms, right? We all get the flu and no one writes blogs complaining about that! "So-and-so had it once, he took some antibiotics and was fine."

You may be ahead of the curve, maybe someone you know or a friend of a friend has Lyme Disease, but still believe what the rest of the general population believes about Lyme Disease. "I hear it takes awhile to treat..."

When I tell you everything you know about Lyme is wrong, you will look at me like I’m crazy. "But I've read..."

When I tell you just a handful of my symptoms (since I have over 100), you will think I’m crazy. "But you don't look sick at all!"

When I tell you how hard it has been to find a doctor to treat me, how risky it is for my doctor to treat me, you will tell me I’m crazy. "But doctors know what Lyme disease is! And how can a doctor get in trouble for treating a patient?"

Lyme Disease is crazy. Sadly, those who have it are often labeled or viewed as crazy.Which is why many with Lyme Disease are ashamed or afraid to talk about Lyme Disease.

Journal

I come from a long line of burriers, stuffers, and bottlers. My family tends to hold grudges or avoids instead of talking and communicating. I know we are not the only family who operates this way. But because of this, it feels like people only want good news. If it isn’t good, please don’t share it

I had someone tell me “Stop with the Lyme stuff, no one wants to hear about it anymore.”

And so I started censoring my facebook. Now and then I post something, but I’ve allowed the “share only good news” rule take over. I think that is going to change.

Year of the Black Water Snake has the opportunity to be a very healing year, and I am going to drain this year’s healing energy for all it’s worth.

When I share what I write people tell me I sound resigned to death. That I’ve given up. I try to remember those are their fears, not my own. Yes, we are all dying, but no, I am not resigned to it. I have not given up. I apologize if what I write upsets people, but I cannot stop writing.

My outlook is different. When you are sick like I am, you have no choice but to change. Well, you do. You could allow yourself to go mad, but I’d rather keep the smidgen of sanity I still have ;)

So if I sound melodramatic, spouting utopian thoughts, "make love, not war, man!" kind of sentences, or “resignation to death” pieces… it is only because I know what is and is not important in life, and those reading who struggle with my words just are not at that space yet.

It is also my way of expressing things that I need to get out, things that should be shared because… if it helps even just one person, then my own suffering helped make a difference. Sometimes the things I share are painful, sometimes they are full of anger and grief for this illness, but those kinds of things are not meant to be kept inside. And again: I know I'm not alone in those things, but many are unable to express it, and so I hope my words help them find their own....

I’ll admit that I don’t do enough to share about my illness with my family. I need to be better with that.

No one really understands Lyme Disease unless you have it, or someone close to you has it. Unlike other diseases and illnesses, such as Cancer or Diabetes, Lyme disease is not that well known or talked about. There are no walks for it, no commercials, no highly advertised fund raising efforts, and your doctor doesn’t do Lyme Disease screening tests or questions each year.

Lyme Disease is this thing that only seems to come into one’s life through the back door: Only if someone you know has Lyme, do you learn a little more about the illness, but unless it’s you, a spouse, or child – you don’t really research or read about it on your own time. I’m the first in the family to be diagnosed with Chronic Lyme Disease… so this is new territory.

Sometimes I hear from my family or friends – they read an article or heard something on the news. And I’m happy about that, I’m glad they read the article or listened to the broadcast. At the same time I’m angry.Not at my family, but at the media, the IDSA, the CDC and our government.

I’m angry about the complete disregard of my illness. An illness that maybe gets a side note blip of a mention in medical school, but those med students will never be taught specifically about Lyme, so they will go on to be just as ignorant and disregarding of it as the last generation of doctors.

I’m angry that because of the lack of information, and the amount of misinformation that is out there, our society is ignorant about Lyme Disease. It’s the fastest spreading vector borne illness that’s been around since the late 1970s and yet most people have no idea what it is… and the mainstream knowledge that is available iswrong.

So when I try to talk to family and friends who are not my doctors or fellow Lyme patients, I feel like I have to go backward and explain everything before I can answer things like: Why is treatment taking so long? Why are you still sick? You don't look sick....

And when I do so, they get this glazed over confused look on their face like I’m trying to explain some complex math equation and I often wonder if they are really thinking about something else because they are bored, or if I’ve just totally lost them. Because by the time it’s over they are debating with me about how I should be tested for this or that because Lyme can’t possibly do this, or they just look at me like I’m some crazy Lyme Disease vigilante.

Usually after I tell them a few things, they simply say, “Well, good luck!” and change the subject or go talk to someone else. The whole “no bad news” thing. I get that no one wants to hear that I’m in pain all the time, I get it…

I have some family and friends who are actually in the medical field, and I struggle with how much to say when they are around. I’ve been to too many doctors who looked at me and flat out said, “Nothing is wrong with you. Why are you here?” to know that just me saying: Lyme Disease does THIS, and expecting them to not look at me like I have two heads, over exaggerating, or vying for attention is sometimes hoping for too much.

Please know I’m not upset with my family. I understand their lack of knowledge about Lyme, because up until I was diagnosed, I too had very little {completely wrong} information about this illness. I thought the same things most people think, which is why it never crossed my mind as a possibility.

I guess I just don’t want others in my life to continue to believe the misinformation. I want people to know the truth. I want them to understand what Lyme really does, to understand the true seriousness of this illness… to know how one little tick bite can cause so much destruction.

On a grander scale, I share this blog because I want Lyme Disease understood everywhere. I want people to be aware…

Childhood things...

This is a bit unorganized and unedited.... Might come back and do that later.

We went back through old photos and found evidence of a mild Bell's Palsy in most of my photos starting at age 4 years. It's common in children with Lyme, and like mine - is often missed.

In fact, my own mother said, "That's just your face!" Until I showed her the photos where it wasn't present. There were none before age 4 years, and during certain seasons my face was even, others it had the Bell's Palsy. That goes along with Lyme - Lyme cycles and so symptoms cycle.

Age 4 is also when I started getting sick all the time. I was sick about 3 times as often as the average child. My sister would get 1-2 colds a year. I'd get 5-6 colds. Every year.

There were behaviors. I would have been put on the Autism Spectrum if I was a child today. I had odd repetitive behaviors like rocking. I had poor eye contact. I lacked a lot of basic socialization skills, and was a loner most of the time.

I had problems with clothing - textures, and with touching certain things. I often kept my hands in fists - I didn't know why, just that they "felt funny" if I didn't.

Children with Lyme are often given an ASD, ADHD, ADD, or another psych or behavior health diagnosis.

Back in the 80s those things weren't as easily given out as they are today. I was simply labeled an "odd duck". But the behaviors all fit a child with Lyme, and were all attempts to cope with the symptoms.

The lack of socialization was because of sensory overload (sensitivity to light, motion, and sound). The other children were too loud, too fast, and too colorful.

I was picked on, and children didn't want to be my friend because of those odd behaviors, and because I'd forget things.

I'd forget words, or if reading aloud I'd replace a word with a similar sounding one. I'd forget how to do things in gym class like how to skip, jumping jacks, catching or throwing a ball.

I'd be labeled a trouble maker, instead of anyone really trying to figure out what was going on. But it would have seemed odd: How can a 7 year old who could skip the entire week before "forget" a week later?

There were other behaviors and "quirks":

I was a sleep walker.
I couldn't sit still.
I'd drum the desk or table with repetitive rhythms, or hum them - even after being asked to stop.
I couldn't stand tags on my clothing.
I sought out dim quiet places.
I didn't like anything that moved too fast - swings, slides, merry-go-rounds, carnival rides - because the wind hurt.

I always refused to eat red meat - started at age 5. I'd cry if my mother tried to make me eat it. I'd eat chicken or fish if I had to. They just thought I was born vegetarian. I felt sick when I ate meat. I felt sick and got rashes when I ate any kind of dairy. Come to find out there is a strain of Lyme that causes allergic reactions to mammalian meat.

As time went on these just became part of me. I was "weird" and "sickly". I learned to ignore the nausea or itching from eating certain foods.

A child doesn't have the words or know how to describe things like Lyme pain. They don't say "my joints hurt". They say "My foot hurts," or "my leg hurts" or "my hand is itchy" or "my cheek is buzzy". And adults often brush them off as nothing, or laugh at them, "Your cheek is buzzy! How cute!" ...when the child may be trying to describe Lyme nerve pain.

Most of my complaints were put into the "growing pains" category, or play injuries. None of them were ever questioned or brought up to a doctor.

It took me 3 years to tell my current doctor that my joints always hurt. I thought it was normal. I thought being exhausted every day was normal. I thought my muscles feeling like they were tearing off my bones was normal. Because I have lived it for as long as I can remember.

I got rashes and a high fever every time I went onto a Penicillin antibiotic. Thought I was allergic to it. So had it written in my medical file - Penicillin allergy. Come to find out all those times I was having die off reactions (herx reactions) all those years.

When I started telling my doctor all these symptoms she asked me when they started...and I couldn't answer her. I just told her I never thought to bring it up before.

I went through a life time of Lyme....undiagnosed. And I grew up in an area where Lyme was not unheard of.... but not one doctor ever tested or asked my parents about Lyme.

There needs to be more awareness and information out there about the real face of Lyme Disease. It isn't as simple or as unheard of as people think.

There are thousands of children out there who are just like I was as a child.... and they are out there undiagnosed being labeled and treated for a disorder that isn't the real problem. And that saddens me.

Babesia night sweats

Today is the end of the world.

I am still here.

Last night the Babesia night sweats kicked in. Yay.... Let me suppress my excitement.

Over the course of the night I sweat enough to fill a small pond. It is disgusting. Everything… and I mean EVERYTHING got drenched.

The dogs have requested an emergency floatation device be provided for their own safety.

In the meantime.... I will be doing laundry.

My quick drawing this morning:

Day one

Not sure I will be able to update daily, but will give it a go...

Right now I feel fluish. If I hadn't felt like this so many times before, I'd think I was getting the flu. But I know this is a Babesia thing.... and part of it starting the treatment.

The Mepron always makes my nose run or a lot of congestion to start coming out. In a day or two my cough will get really wet and productive.

Mepron also makes my tongue yellow. Once again I'm hoping for the "yellowing vision" side effect... (that's sarcasm)

Babesia flare - I'm feverish. Body chills, headache, light sensitivity.

I need to do more reading on the Probenecid and Plaquenil. But I think so far so good.

I'm dizzy. Could be a med... could be the fever.

I'm hoping to get some sleep tonight. I've been pushing myself too much the last few days and I need to stop now. I have to rest. I wont' be able to handle the treatment if I don't.

Starting new treatment...

I haven't been writing as much because of an increase of neurological symptoms: word confusion, twitching, problems with hand coordination, concentration, and forgetting.

More than once, I've forgotten how to type. It usually only lasts a few hours, but it is still a very freaky feeling: Knowing you know how to do something, yet cannot remember even a tiny bit.....

The Babesia has been cycling nonstop. This means that every 4-6 days I feel like I'm getting the flu. Each cycle gets worse, so each cycle gets more "flu" convincing. I have to remind myself this is how it goes: I feel like I'm coming down with a bad flu for 2-3 days, then it just goes away and I feel okay for a day or two, then it starts all over again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I'm also getting a lot of skin symptoms - the odd hive like bumps, little red blister type bumps, the pin prick spots all over my arms.... The skin issues are related to Bartonella, for me.

So this means all my infections are much more active.

Because of that: We are starting a new treatment. Today.

Here's all my drugs, my little wine refrigerator.... Wish it had wine! LOL It is full of Mepron! Got my white board and my med schedule up, and my "herx kit". But most of that is just pills and tinctures....

Will continue with the PR treatment - the herbals that I'm on, the low fat vegan diet....

I will be adding:

Amoxicillin - 3,500 mg daily - this will be lowered or raised depending on blood concentration - so will do labs in a few weeks.

Azithromycin - 1,000 mg dail

Malarone -3 tabs daily

Mepron - 3 tsp daily

Nystatin

Plaquenil

Probenecid

I will also be taking Sacro-B which is a very high dose probiotic recommended during antibiotic treatment.

For the Bartonella, I will continue with A-Bart. The best antibiotics (for me) for Bartonella are the quinolones, so I have to wait to treat this because quinolone antibiotics and macrolides don't mix.

I know this treatment will help make a serious dent in things... I'm just not looking forward to the herx from this... But I'm ready to get started. Well, as ready as I can be.

Strange bumps

I'm slowly getting to the ILADS videos... my goal is to do notes on each one. Please be patient with me. I'm trying to do 1-2 a week right now. My hands have a lot of arthritis so it gets pretty hard toward the end of typing there. But this information is so important to people.

I'm having weird skin stuff going on right now. Tiny little hives that look almost bug bite like... yet they aren't bites. I've gotten them before but in the past I just thought they were bug bites! However, not so much now.

Usually they appear in one area - one arm, one leg, my hip, my chest. Right now they are on both knees.

I get these stabbing electric pains shooting up from the inside, and then in an hour or so a bump appears. They are tiny, usually 1-4 at a time, and they itch like crazy. So after itching them they turn red and look like a bug bite.

Yesterday I was typing and after I was done I had 2 bumps on my knee.... They weren't there a hour before, and then they suddenly appeared.

Overnight half a dozen more sprung up. A small handful on one knee, a half dozen on the other. All on my knee, the lower area of the joint....

Usually when my lyme is growing my joints itch. It's most often my ankle and finger joints. But sometimes my knees.

I'm hoping these bumps are a good sign that there has been some die-off.

All I can do is hope.

Thoughts after my appointment

Had a very long appointment today with my doctor.

We are going to be scheduling some more blood work. Not sure on what just yet, will know next week. Things mainly for documentation purposes.

Will also be getting some xrays done sometime this month or next of joints - Hip, shoulder, wrist/hands, maybe my ankle/foot.

My doctor confirmed my mild bell's palsy in photos from age 4 years old. All before that are normal even faces. So we have a new "start date" - sometime between ages 3 1/2 and 4 years I was infected with Lyme Disease.

I believe around age 11 I was re-bitten, and again as an adult. Since ticks are everywhere, the reality of having more than one tick bite is a very practical hypothesis.

At the age of 3 1/2 to 4 years, I spent a lot of time back East with my grandparents. It is very likely that my grandmother pulled a tick or multiple ticks off of me at that age and just never said anything.

Sadly, I believe my grandmother died of undiagnosed Lyme Disease in her 60s. in her photos, around age 50 she began having a bell's palsy herself. She had many symptoms of Lyme Disease, but when she died her body was not autopsied, so we will never know for sure.

I know for a fact she pulled ticks of herself and two of my aunts (I think these 2 aunts have Lyme) and never thought twice about it, which leads me to believe she could have pulled them off of me at the age of 3 or 4 and just never thought to say anything to anyone.

I was also a "sick child" so if I got sick from the initial illness, no one would have even been alarmed.

There are many signs that I'm remembering, looking back:

I used to walk around with my hands in fists. Not all of the time, but the majority of the time. There are entire blocks of time (in photos) that I'd walk around with my hands balled up, looking like I was going to punch someone.

I remember that my hands "felt funny" if I didn't have them clenched. No one ever asked me about this behavior. I think they thought it was just a "weird kid thing". I was kind of a weird kid... so it isn't their fault! But looking back on it - this did not start until after age 3 years.

I had incredibly poor eye contact as a child. Some of this could be related to other things. However, the degree to which I avoided eye contact is alarming. If I was a child today I would no doubt be diagnosed with ASD.

In fact, my doctor said before she knew me better, she initially thought I MUST have some kind of ASD because for years I would not look at her. With treatment this has gotten somewhat better, but if I don't know the person I'm less likely to give eye contact.

As a child, I was withdrawn and didn't join in with the group often. Through therapy I've figured out a big part in this was because the sensory stimulation that a group of laughing playing children creates was too overwhelming for me.

There were too many fast moving colors and loud sounds, so I would keep back. It is why I do not like crowds, the mall, new stores, new movies or television shows. Those things are unpredictable and I can't handle the sensory overload.

There are many, many other signs that I was infected at a young age. I will be adding these in later entries. For now I need to go lay down and rest.

Pictures.... worth a thousand words

When I watched Dr. Corson's lecture from the ILADS Lyme Disease Boston 2012 Conference, I got this knot in my stomach.

Back when I was in the process of researching Lyme pre-diagnosis, in the testing phase, I came across a photo. It was a specific photo of a bulls-eye rash. Now, I had seen other photos in the past and over the week that I was saturated in everything Lyme, but there was something about that photo that gave me instant recognition.

I had seen that exact rash before.... on my own body.

That was the moment I was certain this was Lyme Disease.

During Dr. Corson's lecture she put up a slide with two photos of one little boy. The first photo was before or during treatment, the second was after. In the first photo there is a slight Bell's Palsy. On it's own, without the other photo next to it, it looks like an even face. But next to the other one, you see the slight drooping of one side.

The second I saw that photo I knew.... I had seen that photo before... of myself.

I frantically went searching through my online files to find the old scanned school photos and there it was... A photo of me around age 5 with one side slightly lower than the other.

Today I spent the day rummaging through old photos. I pulled out every single school photo and many candid shots. I also pulled out school photos of my sister and group photos of family members.

In all of my sister's photos and the group photos everyone's face is even. Their mouths are even, their eyes are even.

In over half of my photos, starting around age 4 years, one side of my face is lower than the other. Most often the right side of my lower lip. Most of my school photos show this. I have one at the age of 3 years from preschool, and then one for every year up until High School graduation.

The first one at age 3 years is the only photo that is even and symmetrical. After that, less than a handful of school photos have "fairly even" faces. The others have a noticeable droop to the lower right lip. Two have a droop to the left side of the face.

So that is consistent with Lyme Disease: It migrates and changes.

Looking through all the photos, certain times of the year my smile would be uneven. The beginning of summer and winter were "good" times of the year. Late fall, mid-late winter, late summer, spring were "bad" times of the year. My face in those photos is not symmetrical.

At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks, because there couldn't be that many photos with it, and it not be seen after all these years. So I put them onto my computer and placed an original photo and a mirror image right next to each other.

In the photos where my face is symmetrical, both images look like a "normal"face. They could be the same child.

In the photos where my face is uneven, the mirror image looks very warped like a fun house mirror.

All these years I thought I was just not very photogenic!

Now I know I had Lyme Disease all the way back then... at the age of 4 years, and I had a mild Bell's Palsy that was unnoticed.

The initial (first tick bite) infection date moves back once more..... 4 years old.

Don't judge my stripey pants!

This time of year seems to bring on more symptoms. It might be the weather, it might be the craziness of birthdays (many family birthdays Nov - Dec) and holidays, it's probably a mix of both.

Some of it is my current treatment. The hectic week of Thanksgiving put a kink in my ramping up, and so I ramped up after a long overdue period and threw myself into a massive herx.

Before that, the neuro symptoms were creeping up, over the course of about 6 weeks.

I'm having a lot of word confusion:

Forgetting words or having the word but not being able to get it out.

Replacing words for similar sounding ones if someone is speaking to me - Example: I'm trying to say - I need to go to the store, but someone is talking about soup, I will say: "I need to go to the soup" and I don't even notice I've replaced a word until the person I'm talking to says something.

Interchanging nouns - Example: "Put the counter on the bread" instead of "Put the bread on the counter." or "The walker is in the baby" instead of "The baby is in the walker".

Forgetting how to do things - I forgot how to type for a few hours the other week. It is the freakiest feeling ever - forgetting how to do something you KNOW you have done millions of times before. I forgot how to drive the other day - I had to sit in the parking lot for almost half an hour. At least it isn't like the times I forget how to drive while waiting at a stop light!

I'm extra twitchy. I flung hot veggies at my mother the other day. Didn't mean to... my arm twitched. It's mostly my left arm, but occasionally my right arm or my leg or whole body just jerks. My neck has been twitchy. My head bobbling and rocking...

Nerve pain.... serious nerve pain. Full body skin nerve pain and sporadic shooting stabbing burning pain. The ones that come from the inside out... I can actually feel it spiraling outward.

Anyway... that's the reason I'm writing....

I had an appointment today and needed to run an errand. Errand running is far and few between. It takes a lot out of me, so I don't do it often. Normally I try to get everything online so it is delivered right to my door. But I needed some things and so decided it was worth the energy.

While out I noticed a lot of people looking at me. Not really staring but just taking notice. At first I thought - Man... I must REALLY be twitchy today! Or off balance.... something. But then I figured out it was because of my pants.

I was wearing fleece pajama pants..... Stripey fleece pajama pants to be exact.

The photo was to show the adorable puppy sweater to someone LOL... Ignore the cute sweater...those are the pants. They are brighter than the photo shows.

I laughed. Here I can be as twitchy as a bobble head on a dashboard and no one pays attention... but I step out wearing florescent striped fleece pajama pants and suddenly people look at me funny!

I wanted to stop and tell all those people..... Hey! That's right! I'm wearing PAJAMAS... in PUBLIC! Don't judge my stripey pants! I'm so freaking happy I can actually wear something without it feeling like my skin is being ripped off! Rub some sand paper on your arms while standing in a freezer... that's how fabric feels on my skin.

I will LIVE in these pants for however long this nerve pain remains flaring. I seriously AM happy that I can wear clothes that don't irritate things more.

Lyme Disease has made me much more tolerant of people. I don't get frustrated or annoyed with much anymore. Before I knew about the Lyme I was pretty tolerant, but I still had days when if I was in a hurry I'd get annoyed if someone was walking too slow or taking too long.

Now..... Now I am that person walking too slow and taking too long. So I have nothing but compassion for others.... I don't wish this on anyone... but I do wish people could walk in another person's shoes for a few days.... maybe there would be more compassion and patience in this world.

For my fellow Lyme Fighters.... I got them at Target. They are on sale for $10. They come with a shirt... I don't care for the shirt LOL I like the pants.

worth it by purplelymegirl on Polyvore

Low Fat Vegan Holiday Recipes

I'm collecting Low Fat Vegan Holiday Recipes:

Salt and Sugar Detox scrubs

I've started to have some herx-like symptoms, so today I made some ginger salt detox scrub. I know there are products available for this, but it's easy and much cheaper to make your own. Plus you can add more or less of things depending on the need.

I googled Homemade Salt Scrub and figured out the basic "recipe". Salt and Sugar scrubs are basically the same - but one uses Sea Salt and the other uses Natural Sugar.

I went to my local farmer's market and bought a bag of bulk ground ginger, a bulk container of sea salt, and then back home to mix it all up.

I mixed 2 cups of Sea Salt with 2 cups of coconut oil. This is the basic foundation for ANY scrub. You can use olive oil or jojoba oil instead of coconut.

Then I added 2/3 C ground ginger, 1/4 C cinnamon, and 1/4 C clove. Mixed it all together in a nice paste and dumped it in a glass jar.

See? That easy!

For other scrubs you can use essential oils. I'm going to make a Peppermint Tea Tree oil (lovely combination) scrub tomorrow for a little variety. For that I will use essential oils. Another good combination would be Lavender and Sweet Orange essential oils.

Before a bath or shower, when you are going to do your dry brushing... rub a little of the scrub on and then do the brushing.

It helped with some of the pain, more than just dry skin brushing.... And I smell like a cookie now LOL :)

I have Lyme Disease

If I had Cancer, I would have a better chance of being diagnosed early on in the illness. I'd have a better chance at being diagnosed. Period.

If I had Cancer, there would be a treatment for me. Even if there were unfavorable odds, there would still be a treatment, and someone being able to tell me the odds of that treatment being successful or not.

If I had Cancer, I'd know there are decades and decade’s worth of research; and that Cancer funding is always growing – there are walks, commercials, and nonprofits raising awareness and research funding, so treatment options are always getting better.

If I had Cancer, I’d know there would be entire communities to offer support, to find peers, and to rally around me.

If I had Cancer, I would be given multiple treatment options. I'd be sat down in an office and given choices of what kind of approach I wanted to take - and if I wanted a more aggressive treatment, that option would be there for me.

If I had Cancer, I could pick from a pool of specialists openly; knowing that I have those options and that seeking specialists are encouraged, if not mandated by insurance.

If I had Cancer, I wouldn’t need to keep my doctor’s name secret, and I wouldn’t worry that they may or may not get in trouble for treating their patients.

If I had Cancer, I would be welcomed in any hospital. I could get my treatment there whenever aggressive treatment was called for. There would even be hospitals that specialise ONLY in my illness.

If I had Cancer, I'd be able to walk into any ER knowing my illness and my emergency would be handled with the utmost care.

If I had Cancer, I could get assistance and state health care. Sure I'd still have bills, big ones, I know, but many things would be covered and the cost would be nowhere near what it would be without insurance.

If I had Cancer, my pharmacist wouldn't look at me like I'm crazy when I pick up my monthly medications.

If I had Cancer, my family and friends would be in their comfort zone. Upset and worried, sure - but they know what Cancer is.

If I had Cancer, during my treatment, it would likely be visible to those around me. People would *know* just be looking - that I was seriously ill. If not, I could say, “I have Cancer” and people would have more compassion and understanding.

But I do not have Cancer.

I have Chronic Lyme Disease and Chronic Tick Borne Illness.

I have Lyme, and I went undiagnosed for over half my lifetime. I lived in areas where ticks are prevalent, and yet not one doctor even mentioned Lyme Disease.

I have Lyme, and so treatment is all "guess and check", "hope and see", but no solid: "This is what we do and it will WORK – REALLY WORK." There are no odds, just a blind hope that this treatment will work for my kind of Lyme disease and co-infections.

I have Lyme, and I know it's only in its infancy of research. I also know that researching Chronic Lyme is looked down upon, so it lacks funding. There are no commercials for Lyme Disease, no 3 day walks to raise awareness and funds, no boxes in the grocery store collecting money for Lyme Disease research...

I have Lyme, and if I was seeing a general practitioner they would give me ONE treatment option - 14-28 days of doxycycline – That is if I could convince them this really was Lyme. And if that didn't work, I'd be told to go see a therapist, maybe even yelled at or told to find another doctor. They would never bring up that there is another treatment option out there.

I have Lyme, and if I want to see a specialist, I have to find a forum that is basically an underground network of Lyme patients who are willing to share the names of their Lyme specialists in secret. These specialists are limited, and may not be in my own state. I may have to travel hundreds of miles to see one, or hope that I can find a doctor near me who is willing to treat me with ILADS protocol. Insurance will not cover these specialists, or these specialists may not accept insurance. Because insurance companies will report them and try to get their licenses taken away. So treating Lyme Disease is this secret covert operation.

I have Lyme, and so I can go to any hospital, but I may not be welcomed. I may be sent home, or told to go see another doctor. I may be sent away without getting the treatment I need, or only getting the treatment they see fit, and sent home still sick and weak.

I have Lyme, and so if I go into an ER with an emergency, I will be argued with and yelled at. My doctor may be called and yelled at, they may even be reported - and the ER doctor will insist that CHRONIC LYME DOES NOT EXIST, and if they cannot find anything "wrong", I will be sent home - untreated.

I have Lyme, and so there are many specialists (cardiologists, endocrinologists, neurologists) who will refuse to see me.

I have Lyme, and so I cannot get assistance, because the CDC claims that Chronic Lyme does not exist, and so therefore: my illness is not severe enough nor will it be long enough to warrant assistance.

I have Lyme, and so my pharmacist looks at me like I have three heads when I pick up my monthly prescriptions of antibiotics, antimalarials, etc, etc. They say nothing, but I know they think I'm nuts.

I have Lyme, and so my family and friends don't understand it, and it is out of their comfort zone. Many have rejected it, and therefore me. Many minimize it, believing it is less than it really is. They do not understand it, and they are not willing or wanting to know. Because all of the “popular” medical sites say: Chronic Lyme dose not exist.

I have Lyme, and most of the time my illness is invisible. I look "great", I look "normal", and so people do not understand and often brush me off as an attention seeker or head case. I receive little compassion on days when I have to cancel plans or stay in bed. No one sees the excruciating pain I’m in every single day.

I have Chronic Lyme Disease.

Right now, if someone is going to be diagnosed with Lyme Disease, they have to have the knowledge about the illness, the proper tests, and the treatments THEMSELVES.

Right now, with the IDSA's guidelines a person who knows nothing about Lyme, who is sick with Lyme, who goes in to see a general doctor won't get tested or treated for Lyme.

Right now - the patients have to be the ones to figure out the puzzle, and then find a doctor who knows about Lyme and can run the tests.

Right now - Lyme patients have to fight for everything we get, for every treatment, for every doctor visit.

That isn't how it is supposed to be.

When people are sick, they should be able to find help. Doctors are supposed to know what to look for, how to test for it, and how to educate their patients on possible treatment options. Doctors are supposed to treat you and do whatever they can to heal you. But most doctors who have a Lyme patient - don't even think to look at Lyme because they believe: Chronic Lyme does not exist. And that Lyme Disease is rare and easy to treat. Most doctors would look at that patient and tell them nothing is wrong with them, their labs are fine, and send them home undiagnosed and untreated.

We need change. There has to be change.

*note: I understand the seriousness of Cancer and would not wish it upon anyone, nor am I trying to compare pains.... This is an expressive piece.... Thank you for understanding.