Thoughts after my appointment

Had a very long appointment today with my doctor.

We are going to be scheduling some more blood work. Not sure on what just yet, will know next week. Things mainly for documentation purposes.

Will also be getting some xrays done sometime this month or next of joints - Hip, shoulder, wrist/hands, maybe my ankle/foot.

My doctor confirmed my mild bell's palsy in photos from age 4 years old. All before that are normal even faces. So we have a new "start date" - sometime between ages 3 1/2 and 4 years I was infected with Lyme Disease.

I believe around age 11 I was re-bitten, and again as an adult. Since ticks are everywhere, the reality of having more than one tick bite is a very practical hypothesis.

At the age of 3 1/2 to 4 years, I spent a lot of time back East with my grandparents. It is very likely that my grandmother pulled a tick or multiple ticks off of me at that age and just never said anything.

Sadly, I believe my grandmother died of undiagnosed Lyme Disease in her 60s. in her photos, around age 50 she began having a bell's palsy herself. She had many symptoms of Lyme Disease, but when she died her body was not autopsied, so we will never know for sure.

I know for a fact she pulled ticks of herself and two of my aunts (I think these 2 aunts have Lyme) and never thought twice about it, which leads me to believe she could have pulled them off of me at the age of 3 or 4 and just never thought to say anything to anyone.

I was also a "sick child" so if I got sick from the initial illness, no one would have even been alarmed.

There are many signs that I'm remembering, looking back:

I used to walk around with my hands in fists. Not all of the time, but the majority of the time. There are entire blocks of time (in photos) that I'd walk around with my hands balled up, looking like I was going to punch someone.

I remember that my hands "felt funny" if I didn't have them clenched. No one ever asked me about this behavior. I think they thought it was just a "weird kid thing". I was kind of a weird kid... so it isn't their fault! But looking back on it - this did not start until after age 3 years.

I had incredibly poor eye contact as a child. Some of this could be related to other things. However, the degree to which I avoided eye contact is alarming. If I was a child today I would no doubt be diagnosed with ASD.

In fact, my doctor said before she knew me better, she initially thought I MUST have some kind of ASD because for years I would not look at her. With treatment this has gotten somewhat better, but if I don't know the person I'm less likely to give eye contact.

As a child, I was withdrawn and didn't join in with the group often. Through therapy I've figured out a big part in this was because the sensory stimulation that a group of laughing playing children creates was too overwhelming for me.

There were too many fast moving colors and loud sounds, so I would keep back. It is why I do not like crowds, the mall, new stores, new movies or television shows. Those things are unpredictable and I can't handle the sensory overload.

There are many, many other signs that I was infected at a young age. I will be adding these in later entries. For now I need to go lay down and rest.